


200 years

by PrinceBirb



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, M/M, Unrequited Love, and then he was like screw it im taking you out kags, i didn't mention it but ennoshita was just unsure of himself at first, kind of, tho suga is pretty minor, though it's mostly just kags being dramatic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-27
Updated: 2015-09-27
Packaged: 2018-04-23 14:09:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4879783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrinceBirb/pseuds/PrinceBirb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kageyama dwells over his unrequited feelings for Ennoshita, and Suga tells him to grow a pair. Talking ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	200 years

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt by karasunovolleygays! "It wasn't your fault."  
> God I took so long on this and now I'm having a lot of second thoughts about how I did things. I mean, I partially blame school starting and making my life hell, BUT I MOSTLY BLAME ME BECAUSE SOMETIMES I GET NERVOUS AND AVOID WRITING. Anyways, criticism is welcomed, just be a little gentle because I am very wimpy! I might make a second part to this, where they actually go on a date and hit things off and it will be less dramatic. By the way, I named this '200 years' because that's how long it took me to write the damn thing and I am bad at titles.  
> I hope you enjoy this!

There were some days that Kageyama wished Ennoshita would use him, regardless of how. As long as he had a use, he could care less what it was.

It was better to be used as a tool than to be ignored.

Not that Ennoshita meant to ignore him. No, he wasn’t the kind of person to do that. On occasion, he would direct his sweet smile and warm eyes to Kageyama and for a moment, everything was okay. And maybe everything around him was okay, and he was the only one with something wrong.

 

Kageyama's eyes slowly moved to where Ennoshita was, who was giving advice to Yamaguchi. He didn't necessarily hear the words that he was speaking, but he saw the way his lips moved and the soft expression he'd wear. Sometimes it became a smile and he laughed, and Kageyama's heart would constrict because 'God everything about him is gorgeous'.

The worst part about it was the jealousy. It was ridiculous, because it wasn’t warranted. He had absolutely no right to feel possessive of the boy's kindness, to feel like something of his was being stolen when he would lend others a smile. To feel as if he owned another person was absurd, to say in the least, especially when said person doesn't love you.

He must have been staring at Ennoshita for a long time, because Suga had pulled him away from his thoughts with a worried look. He was always the kind to pick up on little things, that's something Kageyama liked about him. 

"Tobio, you should talk to him. You're not very good at hiding your feelings, and nothing's going to get better if you just stare." It kind of pissed Kageyama off to know he was an open book, but he knew Suga was right.

"Maybe I should..." He mumbled more to himself than anything, to which Suga gave him an encouraging smile and a pat on the back. Kageyama idly noted that he really did like Suga a lot, before moving over to talk to Ennoshita when he was getting a drink.

"Ah...Ennoshita-senpai?" His voice was uncomfortably strained, and he was a little afraid that he'd scare the other. Fortunately, Ennoshita simply looked up at Kageyama with one of his usual smiles. Shit, his smile always made Kageyama fumble and stutter, and it drove him insane.

"Can..." He paused, feeling anxiety beginning to pull his words away. No, he wasn't turning back. Not again, dammit. "Can we talk after school? There's something I need to ask you." He wouldn't let this slip away."Of course!" the older boy chirped, and everything about him in that moment made Kageyama's heart race. Ennoshita looked like he was about to say something else, but something stopped him. In all honesty, Kageyama was pretty grateful for whatever stopped him cause he was 99% sure if they kept talking, he would lose his nerve.

\--

It felt as if practice went by like a blur, and suddenly he was facing his reality. Outside the gym doors was Ennoshita, alone, and waiting for him. So...Kageyama might have been terrified. It was kind of like facing his own death, he thought. Though maybe that was an exaggeration. Maybe. Just maybe.

'If you turn back, you lose. You can't lose.' Kageyama took a deep breath and stepped through the doors, approaching the boy and standing up straight. He didn't think it was natural how fast his heart was beating.

"Hey, Kageyama-kun." Ennoshita looked up at him with a small smile, and Kageyama wondered how someone could be so beautiful. It was something he’d never ask, of course. 

"Walk with me?" The setter could only manage a nod. Kageyama had rehearsed his words constantly up until this moment, and now he had the chance to say them...So why was it so hard? When he did open his mouth, all he managed to say was "How are your movies going?"

Smooth.

Ennoshita gave him a surprised look, like he had expected something else. Probably had. But nonetheless, he answered with enthusiasm. He talked about how his parents had gotten him a new camera and about his new project, and about all kinds of video technicalities that Kageyama didn't quite understand. But he was okay with that, so long as the boy just kept talking.

One of the things about Ennoshita that he had fallen in love with was his passion. The way his eyes lit up and how he talked a little too fast, but it was okay because even though he it was strange it was also endearing and it made you want to hear more. Ennoshita never seemed like the type to talk on and on, but boy did that little detail look good on him. Kageyama could listen to him for hours and still want more.

"I didn't meant to go off like that. My bad!" Ennoshita laughed. Kageyama wanted to say that it was okay, that he enjoyed every moment, but he settled on a nod and what he hoped was a small smile. "Kageyama-kun...What did you really want to talk about?" His voice dropped a bit. Kageyama's heart dropped with it.

This was it. This was what he came here to do.

"Ennoshita-senpai..."

'I want to be useful to you'

'Is there something I can do?'

'Anything is fine'

'Please just don't forget about me'

Kageyama swallowed the lump in his throat, clenching his fists hard enough to leave crescents in his palms.

"L-Let me be useful!!" 

"I'm sorry?" His upperclassmen tilted his head. Ennoshita’s eyes were wide and curious, and normally Kageyama would have found it cute. But, given his circumstance, the only thing on his mind was getting his words out. And so far, he screwed up by shouting on the first try.

"I mean, I know you don't feel the same as I do about you, but still, I...I want to be something to you. Something other than a teammate, or an underclassmen." Kageyama took a breath, directing his gaze to the floor. He felt like there was cotton filling his throat.

"I don't care what it is, or what I have to do. I just don't want to be useless to you." He finally said it. The weight on his chest wasn't gone, though.

"Kageyama-kun...Do I make you feel useless?" Kageyama's heart clenched when he saw the way Ennoshita's face dropped, and his eyes filled with guilt. 

"NO!---I-I mean, no, not at all. With you, I feel like I could do anything..." Kageyama trailed off a bit, and he could feel his face burning. God, this was embarrassing. But it made Ennoshita smile, so maybe it wasn't that bad. 

"I just...Want to be something to you, alright? Even something small. It was my fault for developing feelings for you, so-" It was kind of hard to finish a sentence when there was a hand pressed up to your mouth. It was even harder to push it off when the one you love was staring you in the eyes with a look that could kill. It was strange, Kageyama thought, how Ennoshita could be absolutely terrifying and devastatingly beautiful at the same time.

"Don't you dare start blaming yourself for something you can't control. I know I shouldn't be the one to say this, considering how I’ve dealt with my own guilt..." The breath he took was shaky, and slowly his harsh look softened. "But it wasn't your fault. Loving is not a mistake, Kageyama..." 

Ennoshita's words echo in his head. Not a mistake...Why did he feel like crying? No one's ever made him feel this weak, and it wasn't something Kageyama was particularly comfortable with. It was like he was drowning, and he couldn't say a word. Not that he knew what to say, anyways.

"You want to do something for me, right?" Kageyama perked up and nodded.

"Then the first thing I want you to is to quit blaming yourself. And, well, to stop thinking there's a fault in the first place!" Ennoshita was firm yet assuring, and Kageyama idly noted that he really would be a great captain. All his worries suddenly seemed a bit ridiculous, if he was honest with himself.

But his mind felt clearer, and the weight on his chest was lifted.

"Can I ask you to do one more thing?" This time, Ennoshita's voice was softer.

"Anyth--I mean, of course!" Kageyama mentally kicked himself. Now was not the time to sound stupid!

"Let me take you out this Sunday." The cheeky grin on the older boys face made his own face turn 20 shades of red, and by the time Kageyama processed the words he swore he was on fire. At first he choked, then he spluttered, and finally he shook his head fast enough to make him dizzy.

"Y-You don't have to!! It's really not---" But Ennoshita had already started to walk away, waving goodbye.

"I want to! You deserve a chance. And besides, it's not a choice! I'll see you then, Tobio."

A moment later and Kageyama was standing there alone, trying to keep his heart from jumping out of his chest and chasing that beautiful boy. This...This went nothing like how he imagined. Fortunately, it went impossibly better.

Later that night Kageyama laid awake, soaking in what happened and trying to fight off the smile pulling at his lips

Man, he really needed to thank Suga.


End file.
